Ahh, Wikipedia. The source of knowledge for the common man. A place where all walks of life can gather to read information with no factual backing whatsoever. But it’s ok because everyone uses it, so we’re all wrong together. UNTIL NOW. Apparently, someone close to Big O (or perhaps O himself) realized that Wikipedia is not in fact a real encyclopedia, but rather users edit and submit content to the site. And as they were browsing Barack’s page to see if he truly is a U.S. citizen, they discovered something blasphemous: a scandalous entry hidden in the section regarding Barack’s “Personal Life”. Under the heading, three paragraphs down was the defamatory sentence:
Barack Obama attended Trinity United Chruch of Christ, led by the Reverend Jeremiah Wright.
Gadzooks! However shocking that may be to you, the sentence that follows is even more shocking:
Some right-wing fringe groups even believe that Mr. Obama was associated with esteemed professor, William Ayers.
The fact the author of that Wikipedia post called Ayers “esteemed” and claimed only “fringe groups” believed that aside, can you believe someone had the nerve to post these truthful degrading statements about the messiah?? Didn’t they get the memo that the teflon-pan-man is not allowed to have anything negative about him in the public eye?? Well, never fear America, some unknown saint swooped in and saved the day by deleted both of the slanderous statements, leaving Hussein’s Wikipedia without a single blemish. But who, America, could it have been that saved the country from iminent demise by replacing the buffet of truth with a big ole glass of the Kool-Aid? That is why I’m here, to divulge into the bowels (hehe) of the internet and find the great and mighty one; the one that picked the sliver peice of burnt cheese off of the pristine cookware; the one that pressure washed the turd off of the brick patio; the one that saved the day.
We entered the bowels of the internet and have made our way into the small intestine. Our team of researchers has uncovered clues that have provided us with evidence pointing to 5 suspects at this point. Some are expected, some are virtual unknowns. In the end, only one will be named the conspiratory of WikiGate.
Every night, sometime between the hourse of 6 and 9 PM Central Standard Time, one suspect will be released. You will be given all the details on the suspect. Once you have been presented the evidence, a special poll will be held to see who America thinks is the mastermind of WikiGate, which I would call the biggest scandal of all time.
Hope everyone is ready, it’s going to ground-breaking.
Thanks for reading!