Stock Market Terminology: What it All Really Means

This is a hilarious post by Hale McCay of It Occured to Me.  Be sure and visit that blog and read more hilarious content like what’ s listed below!

CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST
— Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

What’s your favorite term on the list?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

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Thanks for reading!

Rick

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4 Comments

Filed under Politics

4 responses to “Stock Market Terminology: What it All Really Means

  1. I stole this one from Hale too and posted it today as well. It’s a good one indeed.

    Have a terrific day. 🙂

  2. Hi, I’ve started to put together a few bits and pieces on spread betting if anybody is interested Trading Spreads any comment of feedback would be much appreciated

    Sean 🙂

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