Michael, Andy, and Dwight open the show by imitating parcore, an internet sensation from 2004 that includes running and jumping off of things. Andy “parcores” off the dumpster right into an empty Vance Refrigeration box that doesn’t do anything to break his fall.
Back in the office, Dwight gives an intern the order to “go put all those files in random order, then come talk to me about what’s wrong with the order.”
After the credits roll we find that Pam is pregnant with Jim’s offspring. Well congrats Jim and Pam! They say they aren’t going to tell the office members, and I can’t say that I blame them.
The latest office gossip is that two of the interns, Eric and Megan, are a couple, and Michael is very sad that he doesn’t know about it. One of the interns tells Michael that he saw Stanley and his wife at a club and Michael thinks he’s got the latest gossip that Stanley is having a midlife crisis. Michael soon finds out that Stanley’s wife is out of town, so he gets mad at the intern for lying. Through further discussion, Michael and the intern decide he is having an affair. Michael then realizes that he does have the latest gossip so he tells Kelly.. and everyone else. “It’s wonderful to be the center of attention,” said Michael. Jim quickly puts an end to the gossiping by telling Michael he could ruin Stanley’s life. Michael must know, so he asks Stanley. Naturally, Stanley initially denies the claim, which causes Michael to say its just “racial profiling and gossip”. Eventually, Stanley admits to the affair and talks about the “long walks on the treadmill” he had with Cynthia, the woman he’s having an affair with. Michael assures Stanley he can keep a secret.
Back inside Michael tries to “untell” the affair story by spreading “false gossip so everyone thinks what was said is untrue” about office members. The first batch of rumors he starts are hilarious and include: Angela is dating an 81 year old billionaire, Kelly is anorexic, Andy is gay, and Pam is pregnant. Uh oh.
Michael then calls everyone into the meeting room to wish the departing interns a fairwell. During the meeting, everyone dicusses the rumors of the day. Andy tells Jim the evidence is stacked against him and he may be gay, and Jim advises him to have sex with both genders and compare. Andy then tells him congrats on the “baby tuna”, causing Jim to go find Pam. Other rumors include that Oscar is the voice of taco bell dog, Toby is a virgin, and Kevin has someone inside him working the controls. The staff traces the rumors back to Michael and they demand an explanation. Michael explains he was trying to “untell” a rumor and is about to reveal the true rumor when Jim steps in and says that the true rumor is that Pam is pregnant, saving Stanley from the the news of his affair from going public… for now.
Michael has Jim and Pam in his office to scold them for not telling him their news before telling everyone else. While they’re chatting, Stanley’s wife returns Michael’s call about the affair and he accidentally breaks the news of the affair to Terry. In the closing scene you can see Stanley beating the crap out of Michael’s car. I think he’s angry.
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