Tag Archives: Humor

Video of the Day: Jenny Slate Lets the F Word Slip on SNL Premiere

Whoops!  I’m sure that’s what Jenny Slate has been thinking since she let the f-bomb slip on the premiere of Saturday Night Live.  To be quite honest, I didn’t even notice the slip-up when I watched it live on Saturday.  Here’s the video:

Do you think SNL should be fined by the FCC?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

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Rick

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4 Comments

Filed under Saturday Night Live Weekend Update

Stock Market Terminology: What it All Really Means

This is a hilarious post by Hale McCay of It Occured to Me.  Be sure and visit that blog and read more hilarious content like what’ s listed below!

CEO — Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST
— Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

What’s your favorite term on the list?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

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Thanks for reading!

Rick

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4 Comments

Filed under Politics

On a Scale of One to Ten: Top 10 Life Lessons You Can Learn from ACORN

Pre-P.S., “On a Scale of One to Ten” is the new name of the series that was previously known as simply “Top Tens”.

ACORN has taught us so much.. let us reflect on their vast knowledge.

ACORN has taught us so much.. let us reflect on their vast knowledge.

ACORN sure has been in the news a lot lately.  But even though they’ve been beaten down every day since last Thursday by a continuous flow of scandalous behavior, their acts aren’t all bad:  The various employees featured in the ACORN scandal tapes have taught us MANY life lessons.  Look below at the “Top 10 Life Lessons You Can Learn from ACORN!”

(In no particular order)

  1. You can find common ground with anything. Imagine this scenario:  You’re a prostitute.  You’re ashamed of your work and you think others may judge you.  THINK AGAIN.  Video 4 shows us that the lady who is paid with your tax dollars very well may have been a prostitute a few short years ago.  You never know unless you ask.
  2. Take pride in all that you do. Even if it’s prostitution.  Video 1 shows us that girls should never be embarrassed by what they do with themselves, as long as they are happy and doing well.  Forget that it’s illegal and trashy, to say the least.
  3. Performing Arts is a very brooooaaaaad career field. Video 1 strikes again.  They always say about taking a test, “When in doubt, pick C”.  Well, ACORN says when in doubt about which career cluster to choose for your “unique” line of work, choose “performing arts”.  There’s a reason why prostitution isn’t listed on the code sheet, imbecile.
  4. Become  a yardbird. When buying  a home, be sure to choose a home that has a huge back yard that is covered with lush grass because, according to Video 3, the best way to hide our valuables is to bury them.  This tip does not apply to hose living in New Orleans.
  5. Help your neighbors. Even they are prostitutes about to smuggle 13 girls in illegally.  Offer them your help in any way possible.  If you sell goods or services, go a step higher like the ladies in Video 1 and offer the prostitute a discount for whatever you’re offering to help her get her feet off the ground in her “new office”.
  6. Always be creative. You can’t call prostitution “prostitution” forever, you now.  Video 3 shows us that making a list of 3 different names for prostitution can be fun.  Homework: How many different ways can you call her a moron?
  7. Don’t stress about the fine details in life. Just lop off a zero or two from your income when filing taxes and your good to go!  Video 1 shows us there’s no need to pay taxes for $96,000 of income when you could very easily pay taxes for $9,600 of income.  It’s not cheating, it’s just smart money-management.
  8. Be proactive. If you think you’ve been wronged, do something about it!  Even if your in hot water for doing something far worse.  The Maryland office of ACORN reinforces this lesson by the lawsuit they lobbied against Fox News, Hannah Giles, and James O’Keefe, even though they currently don’t have a license to operate in Maryland.  ACORN’s offense of operating without a license is far more punishable by law, but because they got to the punch first they get a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.
  9. Only speak when spoken to.  Don’t offer up the illegal aspects of your life unless your asked, and in that situation it’s no big deal to speak in code.  Video 1 shows us that the shadier details of your life should be kept under wraps.  The government is everywhere, which is why your story should not be.  I wonder if there’s any way to hid your sketchy details in that box of money in the backyard?
  10. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I guess it would be the acorn in this case.  All four ACORN offices involved in the scandal so far have proven us one thing: a family truly can be formed in the office.  Just as blue eyes may be passed down from generation-to-generation, the tendency to make corrupt and unlawful decisions with clients is passed from ACORN employee to ACORN employee.  Maybe it’s something in the water?

What do you think of these life lessons?  If you can think of any further life lessons ACORN has taught us over the past week, leave them as a comment or send them in to theconservativejournal@gmail.com and they may be featured on the site!

Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

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Thanks for reading!

Rick

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2 Comments

Filed under Top Tens

Video of the Day: Kanye West Interrupts President Obama’s Healthcare Speech

This is too funny.  I was sent this by a loyal reader, and I felt that everyone deserved to bask in the funny.  Watch below:

What do you think of the video?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

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Thanks for reading!

Rick

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Filed under Video of the Day

TCJ Arena Smackdown 2009: Come Up With a New Acronym for ACORN!- Blog Contest

Yeah I dont have a trophy this nice.

Yeah I don't have a trophy this nice.

Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now

Above are the words that make up ACORN.  However, with today’s recent revelations, they are hardly fitting to their actual message.  For my first ever contest on this blog, I’d like to ask everyone to send in their suggestions and ideas for a new acronym for ACORN.  Whether it be a jab the help they gave the prostitute, or something that better describes their mission, all ideas are very welcomed.  At this time, there’s no prize for winning, but the best acronyms will be featured on the site.  And if you have a blog and you are featured on the site, I’ll be glad to throw the link up there.

Send any ideas to theconservativejournal@gmail.com, or leave them below in a comment!

To watch the video of the ACORN interviews, click here.

To read the full breakdown of the ACORN scandal, click here.

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Thanks for reading!

Rick

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4 Comments

Filed under TCJ Arena Smackdown

Blogging Tip: How NOT To Increase Your Readership

You see post after post of “How To Get More Blog Readers” and “Increase Your Ad Revenue by 500% In a Week!”, but you never see a post about how NOT to increase your readership.  This post is going to be short, because in the 11 months I’ve been blogging, about 10 minutes ago is the first time I’ve learned a lesson in how not to blog:

Do. Not. Over. Tag. Your. Posts.

WordPress blogs are greater than all other hosted blogs.  Reason?  Well, once you get past WordPress’s generally awesomeness, it’s the fact that WordPress.com gives you a great tool to publicize your blog through tags and categories.  For those not familiar with tags, here’s an easy-to-understand definition:  words or short phrases that describe your post.  You simply type them into the “Post Tags” line next to an under-construction WordPress post and SHAZAM!  Your post is now at the top of the listing for each tag you typed in.

This feature is no doubt a huge assets to starting bloggers, and veteran bloggers alike.  When I started my blog, I saw this feature and took notice of its great power.  In my excitement, I decided I should harness the full power of WordPress tags by taggingeach post with nearly every word included in the post, plus some general tags like “Politics”, “News”, “Entertainment”, etc.  This went on for about 11 months (meaning from blog startup until a few minutes ago).  I was surfing the “Education” tag category to catch up on the latest opinions about Barack’s big speech today and I noticed that my grade-A post wasn’t listed anywhere on the listing.  Of course I had tagged “Education” to the post.  So I looked around and it finaly dawned on me that there COULD be a tag limit.  I thought about it and I realized that no one else ever used a trillion tags but me; I guess I just thought I was the only one that caught onto that trick.  I decided to post my question in the forums and was promptly given a response by a great forum member (Raincoaster):  Wordpress blocks your posts out after around 10 or 12 tags/categories, and after several posts of over 12 tags/categories, you are considered a tag spammer.

Well imagine my excitement when I learned that I’m pretty much number 1 on “WordPress’s Most Wanted” since I regularly use upwards of 100 tags on each post.  That would explain why I never get hits from wordpress tags.  I figure it’s better to not be getting hits because I’m in the “WordPress Tag Slammer” than because my content is boring.

What failed techniques have you tried to increase your blog’s readership?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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4 Comments

Filed under Blogging

Happy Labor Day Everyone!

Happy Labor Day Everybody!

Hey everyone, I hope you all had a great labor day weekend.  I didn’t have to work today, but I did spend the majority of my day laboring. I had to catch up on some work stuff so I didn’t get much relaxation time today.  I did, however, get to have a great supper with all of my family and it was a lot of fun.  That’s about all for today, but I’ll be back on my regular blogging shedule tomorrow.

Again, I hope everyone had a great weekend!

Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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4 Comments

Filed under Entertainment, Holiday

Video of the Day: AP Video of Van Jones’s Resignation

Keeping with today’s “Van Jones Going Away Party” theme, here’s the official AP Video covering Van Jones’s resignation:

Check out more Conservative Journal articles regarding Van Jones’s resignation:

What do you think?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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Filed under Breaking News, Entertainment, Politics, Van Jones, Video of the Day

Thoughts From Around the Blogosphere: Reaction to Van Jones’s Resignation and Controversy

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but there so much fun so I’m about to start again.  For those that don’t know how this works, I google blogsearch “Van Jones” and take a random sampling of the results and clip out important bits, as well as throw in some of my favorite bloggers’ thoughts.  Here’s the blogosphere’s reaction to the resignation of former green jobs advisor, Van Jones:

DPGI- the aftermath

Just put Bush’s name in any of these stories – war, spending, personal associations, agenda, czars, “dictatorship” – and then, recall the panty-twisting furor of the Left from the past eight years. Kind of telling to see the sand in their crotch was Bush, not what Bush did because Obama is following Bush’s path in many ways.

Quipster

The special adviser for green jobs at the White House Council on Environmental Quality apparently believes that his past actions are being used as “lies and distortions,” and are not worthy of scrutiny for the special government position he enjoyed.

Citizens Against Pro-Obama Media Bias

They ranted on and on about the “birthers” and compared them to the “truthers” and lo and behold one of barry’s special advisors is a truther…to begin with.

The Transporter

Van Jones resigns as President Obamas green jobs czar. All I can think of to say is not soon enough, not soon enough. The president should check into the backgrounds of some people before he hires them to save the embarrassment.

Newsreal (I strongly recommend reading this article, it’s one of my favorites regarding Jones)

The point is not that President Obama will not tolerate people with Van Jones’ views to serve in his administration: he obviously will, because he did and he defended Jones to the bitter end. The point is Jones is becoming part of Obama’s increasingly familiar pattern: associate with radical leftists, give them as much power and prominence as possible in their own right, and disavow them only if they begin to hurt your ability to radicalize the system from within.

The Political Inquirer

One down a whole administration yet to go.

Citizen Obie

Van Jones made a mistake. Van Jones did and said some things I think he probably regrets. In fact, I know he does, because he said so. But where I see a mistake, Glenn Beck and the rightist bloggers who carried out this campaign saw an opportunity to tar and feather (and yes, that image is deliberate) the very symbol of the green jobs movement, and to characterize that movement, and by extension the presidency, as a communist cabal intent on imposing a reverse-racist tyranny on good Christian straight White Americans.

Betsy’s Page

How viciously sneaky of the right wing. They dared to use the man’s own words against him.

All American Blogger

I’m not saying I had anything to do with this, but I did write one heck of a blogosphere roundup on the matter.

California Conservative

Conservatives often joke that the Left’s definition of a dirty campaign is using their words against them. That seems to fit with Van Jones’ resignation letter.

The Lonely Conservative

Despite the fact that the MSM completely ignored the news of Van Jones’s past, the radical commie Green Jobs Czar has quit. And of course he’s blaming it on the folks who had the nerve to dig up his past. Not that it was hard.

Glenn Beck

The American people stood up and demanded answers. Instead of providing them, the Administration had Jones resign under cover of darkness. I continue to be amazed by the power of everyday Americans to initiate change in our government through honest questioning, and judging by the other radicals in the administration, I expect that questioning to continue for the foreseeable future.

What’s your say on the resignation of Van Jones?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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Filed under Blogging, Breaking News, Thoughts From Around the Blogosphere, Van Jones

Poll of the Day: What Do You Think of Van Jones’s Resignation?

To read the full article, click here.

Van Jones resigned today as green jobs advisor amid all the controversy regarding his previous statements.  What do you think of this decision?  Vote below in today’s Poll(s) of the Day!

Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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3 Comments

Filed under Breaking News, FOX News, Politics, Poll of the Day, Television

Van Jones Resigns: A Display of the Power of Fox News

Wow, I think I truly am shocked about this.

I haven’t been following the Van Jones saga much lately because I’d seen what I needed to see:  the guy is crazy and he is (was) an advisor to the president.  If I’m being perfectly honest, I assumed that he was here to stay so I just tried to block out all of the controversies surrounding him during my daily dose of Glenn Beck so I wasn’t freaked out even further.

So when I got home from church today, I was surprised to find on the AOL home page that Van Jones had resigned as green jobs advisor amid all the controversy.  But again, rather than owning up to his past statements and claims, Jones simply said he needed to leave due to the “vicious smear campaign” against him.  Van.. Buddy.. It’s not a smear campaign when it’s true.  Admit responsibility for your actions and leave with a little bit of dignity.  Without a doubt Jones knew that he was fast becoming baggage for the administration and that he probably wouldn’t be able to make many green jobs when the vast majority of America is against him.  In fact, AOL’s poll (I know it’s not scientific, but they’re usually pretty close) has 91%  giving Jones resignation a “Thumbs Up” and only 9% a “Thumbs Down”.

Glenn Beck, pat yourself on the back for this one

The whole debacle would have never gotten anywhere without all the coverage Glenn Beck has devoted to Van Jones over the past few days.  He’s constantly been pounding viewers with video clips and quotes from Van Jones that serve as an illustration of his lunacity.  The message obviously resonated with viewers; “Van Jones” was a trending topic on Twitter at the start of the weekend and the blogosphere has been ripe with “Get Rid of Jones!” posts.  Once the rest of the right-media (Basically Fox News) caught on to the situation, Sean Hannity picked it up and then it was all over.  When you’ve got the second biggest radio personality and quite possibly the most controversial cable news host broadcasting concrete evidence of insanity, somethings got to change.  And that my friends, is change we can believe in.

Vote in today’s poll about Van Jones’s resignation by click here.

What do you think of Van Jones resignation?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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2 Comments

Filed under FOX News, Television, Van Jones

TCJ Library Addition: “The Five People You Meet In Heaven” by Mitch Albom

I wanted to thank the reader that sent in a suggestion for me to read “The Five People You Meet In Heaven” and add it to the TCJ Library; it’s running low on books, I know.  I’m going to go buy it tomorrow or Monday and start reading and write a review when I finish.  From what I’ve read on the internet, it’s supposed to be really good.  Can’t wait to share with everyone my opinion of it!

Also, if you have a book or magazine suggestion you’d like to see added to the Library, please e-mail me at theconservativejournal@gmail.com or write a comment on the Library page.  As always, I’d love your suggestions!

Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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Filed under Book Reviews, The Conservative Journal Library

Poll of the Day: What Is Your Opinion of Al Franken?

Before watching this video, I dismissed Al Franken as a complete joke.  And though I still don’t agree with anything he has to say, I think I may have underestimated him as far as his competence.  If you missed the video, click the above link and then vote below in the Poll of the Day!

Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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Filed under Al Franken, Poll of the Day

College Football: It’s time.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!

Because I know I am.  College Football is really the only sporting event I follow closely (Not the NFL, though, because they’re all overpaid and full of themselves.  These are college kids playing to have fun. For the most part).  I mean I watch the other stuff, but something about college football just makes me go crazy.  So for my first attempt at blogging about sports I’m going to post my thoughts about games from each week, as well as post a separate prediction post of each game scheduled that week.  We’ll see how it goes, but I’m pumped about it.  If anyone has any suggestions or requests, as always feel free to e-mail me at theconservativejournal@gmail.com.

For reasons stated below, I plan to follow these teams closely this year:

  • LSU (Can’t stand the school or the team, but they make for entertaining games)
  • Mississippie University (AKA Ole Miss.  Again, can’t stand the school or team, but I’ll be interested to see how they do after a season last year that exceeded all expectations.
  • Georgia (‘Dis my team)
  • Penn State (I just like this school for some reason)
  • University of Southern Mississippi (I have family that lives in the area and loves their team.  Don’t know toomuch about them other than their coach is from Oklahoma State.

So there’s the list for now, I’m sure it will change as the season actually get’s going.  Look for my first post about this weekend’s games either Sunday or Monday.  Also, I’m still trying to think of a catchy title for this miniseries.  I love those titles!

Who are you following closely this year?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

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Filed under Breaking News, Entertainment, sports

Video of the Day: GASP! Maybe Al Franken Isn’t That Much of a Moron?

Alright, before everyone jumps on me and sends me scathing e-mails, hear me out and watch the video.  I don’t agree with Al Franken at all, and I still stand firm against this healthcare bill.  However, he does work well under pressure.  In the following video, Al is greeted by a group of protesters and he handles it wonderfully by shooting out facts, remaining calm, and just being honest.  In fact, he does the unthinkable by admitting our current path is unsustainable.  If all liberals/democrats handled protesters like this, maybe they’d get somewhere as far as increasing love for the reform bill.  Here’s the video:

What do you think of Al’s response?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

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Rick

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1 Comment

Filed under Al Franken, Breaking News, Entertainment, Video of the Day