The Office Premiere- “Gossip”- Recap and Review

Michael, Andy, and Dwight open the show by imitating parcore, an internet sensation from 2004 that includes running and jumping off of things.  Andy “parcores” off the dumpster right into an empty Vance Refrigeration box that doesn’t do anything to break his fall.

Back in the office, Dwight gives an intern the order to “go put all those files in random order, then come talk to me about what’s wrong with the order.”

After the credits roll we find that Pam is pregnant with Jim’s offspring.  Well congrats Jim and Pam!  They say they aren’t going to tell the office members, and I can’t say that I blame them.

The latest office gossip is that two of the interns, Eric and Megan, are a couple, and Michael is very sad that he doesn’t know about it.  One of the interns tells Michael that he saw Stanley and his wife at a club and Michael thinks he’s got the latest gossip that Stanley is having a midlife crisis. Michael soon finds out that Stanley’s wife is out of town, so he gets mad at the intern for lying.  Through further discussion, Michael and the intern decide he is having an affair.  Michael then realizes that he does have the latest gossip so he tells Kelly.. and everyone else.  “It’s wonderful to be the center of attention,” said Michael.  Jim quickly puts an end to the gossiping by telling Michael he could ruin Stanley’s life. Michael must know, so he asks Stanley.  Naturally, Stanley initially denies the claim, which causes Michael to say its just “racial profiling  and gossip”.  Eventually, Stanley  admits to the affair and talks about the “long walks on the treadmill” he had with Cynthia, the woman he’s having an affair with.  Michael assures Stanley he can keep a secret.

Back inside Michael tries to “untell” the affair story by spreading “false gossip so everyone thinks what was said is untrue” about office members.  The first batch of rumors he starts are hilarious and include: Angela is dating an 81 year old billionaire, Kelly is anorexic, Andy is gay, and Pam is pregnant.  Uh oh.

Michael then calls everyone into the meeting room to wish the departing interns a fairwell.  During the meeting, everyone dicusses the rumors of the day.  Andy tells Jim the evidence is stacked against him and he may be gay, and Jim advises him to have sex with both genders and compare.  Andy then tells him congrats on the “baby tuna”, causing Jim to go find Pam.  Other rumors include that Oscar is the voice of taco bell dog, Toby is a virgin, and Kevin has someone inside him working the controls.  The staff traces the rumors back to Michael and they demand an explanation.  Michael explains he was trying to “untell” a rumor and is about to reveal the true rumor when Jim steps in and says that the true rumor is that Pam is pregnant, saving Stanley from the the news of his affair from going public… for now.

Michael has Jim and Pam in his office to scold them for not telling him their news before telling everyone else.  While they’re chatting, Stanley’s wife returns Michael’s call about the affair and he accidentally breaks the news of the affair to Terry.  In the closing scene you can see Stanley beating the crap out of Michael’s car.  I think he’s angry.

What did you think of the first episode of The Office?  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feedand the daily e-mail newsletter.

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Thanks for reading!

Rick

Also, be sure and use the new rating feature, found at the bottom of comments and posts!

Music Review: Adam Lambert “Season 8 Favorite Performances” via iTunes

Continuing my American Idol Season 8 wrap-up nonsense, I decided I would also review Adam Lambert’s “Favorite Performances Collection”.  This song set is extremely popular on iTunes; it’s still #5 on top albums over one week from being released.  Here’s the review:

(The songs are in the order they appear on the track listing, and will be rating on a scale of 0 to 10 elephants)

1. “Black or White“- 8 Elephants- The live version of this “Black or White” was energetic and exciting, and I don’t think that translated very well to the studio version.  It seems much more relaxed.  Analogy: The live version is to bold, black coffee as the studio version is to a mocha frappe latte.
2. “Born to be Wild“- 8.5 Elephants- Once again, like “Black or White”, I don’t think these high-energy songs from Adam translate very well into studio recordings.  But of course it’s much harder to deliver the energy and excitement on a recording, especially an American Idol recording.  I can’t get it out of my head that this sounds like a “Born to be Wild” dance remix.
3. “Cryin“- 9 Elephants- This was one of my favorite songs from Adam throughout Season 8 because the screech/wail that he does worked so well.  It wasn’t overdone or obnoxious, it just worked.  The studio recording is similar in that it’s a great vocal and it all just works.
4. “Feeling Good“- 9.5 Elephants- I think this is one of the few songs that I enjoyed the studio recording and not really the live performance.  The studio recording is great!  Definitely one of my favorite studios from Adam.  He breathed new life to this old classic and it really worked.
5. “If I Can’t Have You“- 8.5 Elephants- The vocals in this song are great, but when I listen to it the music gives me the feeling that this an 80s pop song.  I don’t know what the people that add the backing track in are thinking sometimes.  Other than that, it’s good!
6. “Mad World“- 9.5 Elephants- I’ve got three words for you: haunting.  Take it in folks, I will never use the word “haunting” to describe a song again because it makes me feel like Kara.  Seriously though, this song is great and Adam does a great job with it every time.  It may be teetering on the edge of “performance overkill” since it’s been on every morning talk show in the U.S., but it’s still great and the definitive Adam song.
7. “One“- 9 Elephants- I expressed my complete disdain for Adam screwing up one of my favorite songs, but he fixed it all with the recording.  The little changes he made in the melody are gone and it’s back to it’s original form.  I know that I’m the number 1 proponent for changing songs up, but that’s only if it works.  If you go for it and it fails, tough stuff for you.  But like I said, he fixed it for the studio and it sounds great.
8. “Play That Funky Music“- 7 Elephants- I hate this song, and I like it no more when Adam does it.  The vocals are good, but the song is complete garbage.  That’s all I’ve gotta say about this one.
9. “Ring of Fire“-  0 Elephants- Just as frightening as the first time, I can’t even finish it.  I’m not trying to pull a Clay Aiken and say that I’m going to have nightmares and it was horrible in the vocals because that’s just not true.  The vocals are fine, the whole arrangement is just scary.  I don’t like this song really in any form though.  Oh and I don’t really give it 0, more like 7.
10. “The Tracks of My Tears“- 8.5 Elephants- I definitely liked the live version better without all the background nonsense going on, but it’s still a good song even in studio.  I wish American Idol would just leave the performances acoustic or whatever in studio because that’s the reason why American loves those performances!  Ahh, it’s so aggravating.
11. “Whole Lotta Love“- 9 Elephants- Once again like “Cryin” the screech works here.  If Adam is going to want to do the screech, then songs like these are definitely going to suit him well.  And to give the screech credit, it’s one heck of an on-pitch screech.
12. “A Change is Gonna Come“- 9 Elephants- It’s probably the most soulful track on the favorites compilation, and it definitely sounds good.  Not too much was added to the studio version (thankfully) so it keeps a lot of what was in the live version.

The Verdict

After much debate, I’ve decided that the following songs wil make the TCJ Playlist:

• “Cryin”
• “Feeling Good”
• “Mad World”
• “One”
• “The Tracks of My Tears”
• “Whole Lotta Love”
• “A Change is Gonna Come”

What do you think of Adam’s “Season 8 Favorite Peformances” from iTunes?  If you disagree with my review, let us know!n  Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for participating!

Rick

TCJ Playlist: More Fun Stuff

I realize that some people think I’m going a little overboard on the “feature” posts, but, to quote a famous song, “it’s my blog, and I’ll post what I want to”.

**future home of TCJ Playlist graphic**

The latest addition to The Conservative Journal line-up of entertainment is the “TCJ Playlist”.  How this will work is that each time I review a CD or a new song (Which I plan to start doing soon.) I will decide if it makes the cut for the playlist or not.  The playlist does not necessarily include songs that I like, but rather songs that are not complete garbage.  If a full CD is reviewed, I do reserve the rite to “line-item veto” (Barack/Congress, take notes for this part) the songs that I do not like, placing only those that I deem not complete garbage on the playlist.  I think this holds the potential to be a lot of fun for me, and moderate fun for those that read along.  As usual, any suggestions for the playlist are greatly appreciated and welcomed, simply e-mail your suggestions to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.

What does this have to with politics, you ask?  Everything, because politics is in everything and music is a thing.

Don’t forget, if you have a request for an album review or a suggestion for the playlist, send your e-mails to theconservativejournal@gmail.com, or leave a comment below.  Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.

Thanks for participating!

Rick

Fringe “Midnight” Recap

Tonight’s episode begins with some guy in his apartment, with the news on in the background.  The newscaster is talking about a murder that was quite gruesome.  He then goes to a club, where he sees a girl that he likes.  So, they go back to his (or her) apartment and begin hooking up.  While their all over eachother, the woman slashes the guy across the face and he is dead.  His wife calls his phone, and it can be seen ringing next to where he is lying dead on the bed.  Apparently, the girl is the killer.

When the show returns, Olivia (Anna Torv) is at a little get together with some friends.  She meets an odd couple that are together but live completely separate lives.  Olivia’s sister then reveals her husband is filing for divorce.  Agent Dunham is then called away from the gathering to examine the murder that occured earlier.  In one of Walter’s hilarious remarks he compares the victim to a good shrimp cocktail because he is perfectly deveined.  Walter then suggests that someone ate his spine.  Well, that’s interesting.

Agent Dunham reports back to the office to give her boss the findings.  He also gives her a good divorce attorney for her sister.  Back at the lab, Walter is examining the body.  He finds that the lady that killed the man has an extinct form of syphilis.  The CDC explains that someone in a residential area requested a sample of that strain of syphilis, as well as other bacterium.  They make a trip to the house where the items were delivered and find a man named Dr. Boone.  They take him into custady for questioning.

They know Dr. Boone is associated with ZFT, the organization responsible for a lot of the craziness that goes on on the show.  Dr. Boone says he’ll give them all of the info as long as they get his wife back from ZFT, who has taken her hostage.  They find that the address Dr. Boone gives as the location of his wife is a restaurant in Chinatown that is using 5 times as much power as they should be.  They then go check it out.

Back at the lab where Dr. Boone was found, Walter believes he may have figured out what was going on in the house.  At the same time, Agent Dunham and the crew are on their way to the restaurant where Dr. Boone’s wife is allegedly being held.  His wife is nowhere to be found, so they call Dr. Boone.  He reveals that his wife, Valerie, was not kidnapped, but was infected with the virus that is being stored at the Chinese restuarant.  His wife is the killer.

We then see his wife in a car with another man.  They also start hooking up.  She gets very warm and starts shaking, apologizes to the guy, then forms sharp teeth and bites him in the neck.  The crew arrives to gather evidence for testing.  Back at the office, they show Dr. Boone the video of he and his wife in the park.  He is not in a wheelchair then, which he explains by saying that he fed his wife his spinal fluid as long as he could, which took away his ability to use his legs.  Dr. Boone reveals that ZFT creates these viruses in order to show off their skills to other scientists.  Dr. Boone says he can make an antidote as long as they bring his wife to him.

Back at Walter’s lab, he is discussing with Dr. Boone.  Charlie and the crew finds a victim’s vehicle, but it was stripped of all of it’s insides, including the GPS.  They go to one of Peter’s friend’s “chop shops” and he tells them where he found the vehicle.  At the lab, Walter and Dr. Boone are still talking.  Dr. Boone says he knows very well who Walter is, to which Walter replies, “That makes one of us”.  Once Peter and Agent Dunham arrive at the scene where the car was found, they discover another body that has been de-spined by Mrs. Boone.

Walter and Dr. Boone are still hard at work to make an antidote.  The authorities deliver the most recent victims to the lab.  Astrid (Jasika Nicole) finds that one of the bodies smells like alcohol.  Using a blacklight, she sees an entry stamp on one hand of each of the victims.  They now know that she is finding her victims in bars and clubs.  Peter makes a trip to a club in order to find Mrs. Boone.

The antidote is not working on the lab rats they are testing it on.  Dr. Boone says the antidote needs real spinal fluid to work properly, and says his own will be compatible.  He demands that Walter remove some of his spinal fluid to get the antidote working properly.  Astrid is strongly against it, but Walter knows it must be done.  Back at the club where Peter and Agent Dunham are, they locate Valerie but eventually lose her.  Charlie is standing guard at the door, and shoots Valerie with two tranquilizers.  They’ve got her now.

Back at the lab, Dr. Boone is suffering immensely from the missing spinal fluid.  Walter knows that he lied about having more spinal fluid to use.

Valerie wakes up slowly in the patrol car being driven by Peter and Olivia.  Peter and Olivia began discussing Dr. Boone’s sacrifice for his wife when Valerie wakes up completely and lunges forward on Olivia.  Peter shoots her with a tranquilizer again, which knocks her out of her violent state.  They arrive at the lab with Valerie to find that Dr. Boone has had a stroke due to the lack of spinal fluid.  They give Valerie the antidote, which causes her to scream and lash violently.  When she’s done, however, her frighteningly blue eyes fade to a more natural green.  Valerie is now cured, but Dr. Boone has died.  Walter gives Agent Dunham the tape that Dr. Boone made for her, complete with all of the answers regarding ZFT and his projects.  Agent Dunham meets with Phillip (Lance Reddick) and reveals that, according to Dr. Boone’s video, the cheif funder behind ZFT is William Bell.

That’s all for tonight’s episode!

Thanks for reading!

Rick

Parks and Recreation- “The Reporter” Recap

‘Parks and Recreation’ just keeps getting better and better.  Read the recap below if you missed tonight’s episode!  Also, look for a link to the full episode at the end of the recap.

Tonight’s episode kicks off with Leslie (Amy Poehler) on a “Pre-Teen Nature Walk”.  “For a while, it was a teenage nature hike, but we changed it because… a girl got pregnant,” said Leslie.  Leslie then eats the Pawnee huneysuckle, which is not your average huneysuckle.  This causes her tongue to swell, but, hey, “it has a sweet after taste!”.

Leslie informs Ann (Rashida Jones) that she will be getting an interview with the Pawnee Journal to promote their park idea.  According to Leslie, keeping your project in the press is the key to success.  She sites the Tucker Park Graffiti Removal Project as evidence of this.  After eliminating 5 graffitied penises (not even 10%!), the project ran out of steam.  So, somewhere in Pawnee, you can still find the penis wall.

Leslie takes Mark (Paul Schneider) to a meal at JJ’s Diner, which she says is the place where all of the political elite meet.  During their meeting, Leslie asks Mark to help her prepare for the interview.  He says the first question will probably be “How do you spell your name?”.  “Ahhh… of course!  Because of the silent ‘K’,” says Leslie.  Then Leslie reminds us that she and Mark “made love” once.

When the interviewer arrives at the office, Leslie insists she take her on a quick tour.  Leslie takes her back to the wall of murals, a familiar place for us viewers, to show her the mural of Cheif Wamapoe that apparently everyone seems to complain about.  Leslie then introduces her to Ron (Nick Offerman), who apparently hates the media as much as he hates the government because he offered up a simple “no comment” in return.  Tom (Aziz Ansari) and Ron have some friendly scrabble competition going, though Tom throws every round in an attempt to suck up to his boss, Ron.

Leslie takes the interviewer to the meeting room where she introduces everyone as follows:  Tom “boy genius, smooth like milk chocolate” Haverford, April Ludgate (Aubrey Plaza) “so cool she could be invited anywhere, but chooses to be here”, and Ann and Andy “the real heroes of this story”.  The interviewer wants to record the interview, but Leslie can’t handle the pressure.  Each time she has to answer a question, she has to pause the recorder because she doesn’t want to answer incorrectly.  We then find out that Andy was going after a toaster in the bottom of the pit, and he was “wasted” in the process.  Apparently, no one knew these details yet, which causes quite a stir.  “Ann, your so innocent and sweet and pretty.  The press are like sharks and you just dumped a bucket of chum in the water.”

There’s a hilarious little exchange between Tom and Ron about Tom’s “lack” of Scrabble skills, and about how much Ron thinks his ex-wife is a bi*** who can’t play Scrabble.  You have to see it to get the full effect.  The interviewer tells Leslie they will resume tomorrow at the pit, and she and Mark exit together.  Much to Leslie’s dismay, they are back together the next morning and Marks drops her off at the pit.  It takes Leslie a minute, but she eventually puts the peices together and discovers why Shauna (The interviewer) was with Mark.  The rest of the interview, Leslie is very upset, and cannot answer the questions very well.  This part was hilarious, and you just have to see it.

Leslie leaves the interview early to go talk to Ann about Mark and Shauna’s little fling.  She leaves from their home to confront Mark.  “It is unethical for a public servant to have sex with a member of the press corp, Mark; especially when it’s with some one so skanky.  Come on, Mark”.

Leslie calls Shauna to inform that she ate a bad burrito (but not a mexican burrito), and that caused her weird behavior at the pit.  She asks for a do-over and Shauna accepts.  For this interivew, Shauna gathered several quotes from people who are sure the park is not going to happen.  “You should write an article about unicorns, because unicorns are more likely to happen than this park”, and “You should write an article about the Pope getting married because that’s more likely to happen than this park”.  Apparently, Mark is also sure it’s not going to happen, or at least, that’s what he told Shauna.

Ann and Mark meet Shauna outside her office to ask that she please not print that article, and she agrees not to because she and Mark are “romantically involved”.  Mark disagrees with that, so she prints it anyway.  The article ends with, what Leslie calls a positive note with a “We’ll see”.

4 of 5 Elephants

If you missed the episode you can watch it here.

What did you think of tonight’s episode?  Leave your comments below or e-mail me at theconservativejournal@gmail.com.

Thanks for reading!

Rick

Fringe “Bad Dreams” Recap

This week, I’m adding a new show to the list of shows that I recap, and it’s a good one: Fringe!  Fringe is one of my favorite shows that airs on Fox at 9 PM Eastern on Tuesdays following American Idol.

A young lady is strolling her child down the subway tunnel to catch the next train, while she is reaching for the balloon her daughter accidentally let go of, she is pushed into the oncoming train by one of the main characters of Fringe, Olivia Dunham (Anna Torv).  Agent Dunham wakes up from her dream, but sees the young lady from her dream on the news while she is having breakfast.  Apparently, she had committed suicide by jumping out in front of an oncoming train.

Agent Dunham asks her superior at the FBI if she can have special privileges into the case because it’s of special interest to her.  While there Agent Dunham and her partner and friend Peter Bishop (Joshua Jackson) find the red balloon still floating in the ceiling.  The young lady’s husband tells Dunham there is no way it’s a suicide, though the video tape from the subway tunnel clearly shows the young lady throwing herself in front of the train without the help of Agent Dunham.  Dunham is still convinced she played a part in her death, and Walter, Peter’s father and a scientist (John Noble) assures her that if so, it will happen again.

That night, Agent Dunham dreams that while she is eating supper, a woman grows angry with her husband and holds a knife to him.  Agent Dunham walks up behind her, grabs her arm, and forces the knife into her husband’s stomach, dropping her glass in the process.  Dunham wakes up and alerts the authorities of the murder.  She talks to the woman the next day and finds out the details of her dreams were accurate once again.

On a trip to the restaurant where the crime occurred, Olivia finds the same cup broken on the floor and asks the manager who was sitting in that seat.  He describes a man with blonde hair and a scar on his face, who Dunham recognizes from the subway surveillance video.  Back at the lab, they find the man that was described in the subway video.  Walter thinks that Olivia is dreaming as if she were the scar-faced man, and that in reality she had nothing to do with the crimes.

When the head of her division of the FBI hears of the feud at the restaurant, Agent Dunham requests permission to investigate into the mysterious man.  Agent Dunham and Peter travel to the mental hospital where the man, named Nick, had been staying.  The director of the mental hospital tells the agents that Nick was convinced he had been recruited as a child for a battle against a paranormal universe.  Upon further analysis, they find that Nick has the same birthday as Agent Dunham.

Agent Dunham believes that Nick has a “contageous” mood.  For example, when he walked down the platform, he may have been feeling suicidal, which may have prompted the young woman to throw herself in front of the train.  Agent Dunham reveals that she may have been treated with Cortexiphan as a child, the drug that Walter believes has a lot do with the problems.

Agent Dunham is put into a machine induced sleep, where she is able to walk in Nick’s shoes.  Olivia (who is really Nick in the coming scenes) takes a dancer from the club into his apartment or hotel room.  His ability to transfer his feelings in an extreme way allows him to make the dancer feel miserable and depressed, just as he does.  This prompts her to break a glass and slit her throat with it.  Agent Dunham (who is still walking in Nick’s shoes), then walks home, which allows the FBI to know the location of his home.

The FBI visits his home, where they find a wall of articles about the testing of drugs on children.  At the same time, Nick is walking down the streets of the city.  People walking down the sidewalk are drawn in by his emotions, and they follow him as he walks.  Nick leads the pack of followers to the roof a building, where they will all jump to their deaths.  Since Olivia was also treated with the drug as a child, she is resistant to Nick’s extreme emotions.  On the rooftop, Nick expresses joy in seeing Olivia, or “Olive”, as he calls her, but she can’t remember her time with him.  Nick pulls a gun on Agent Dunham, but turns it around to face him.  He demands that she shoot him to end all of the deaths he is causing.  To show that he means it, he “pushes” (with his mind) a woman off the ledge where she lands on a car with a loud bang.  This prompts one of Walter’s signature, funny-in-a-weird-way lines, “I sure hope she meant to do that”.  Olivia shoots Nick at his request, which saves the lives of all those that followed him to the roof.

It is then revealed that Nick is in a drug induced coma “indefinitely”.  In the final scene, Walter is shown watching a video with his voice playing through the speakers.  In the video, there is a smll girl in the corner of the room.  Walter is trying to console her (but it’s all just creepy) and then addresses her as “Olive”.

4 of 5 Elephants

That’s all for tonight’s episode!  Leave your comments on tonight’s show below or send an e-mail to theconservativejournal@gmail.com.  Don’t forget to subscribe to the RSS Feed here, or sign up for the daily e-mail newsletter here.

Thanks for stopping by and hope you check back often for more content!

Rick

That Dang Obama!

Our inagural not-pertaining-to-politics article will be postponed until tomorrow, because American Idol has been moved to accomadate Big O’s big speech.  That’s a real bummer because I had just convinced myself I was going to actually watch so I could recap it (I’m not a huge Idol fan, but it was the best entertainment themed article I could throw in there.  Plus I like to have opinions on everything and be well rounded. :)).  Be here tomorrow to witness history in the making when The Conservative Journal covers something other than conservative politics.

Thanks for reading and see you tomorrow!
Rick