Pre-P.S., “On a Scale of One to Ten” is the new name of the series that was previously known as simply “Top Tens”.
ACORN has taught us so much.. let us reflect on their vast knowledge.
ACORN sure has been in the news a lot lately. But even though they’ve been beaten down every day since last Thursday by a continuous flow of scandalous behavior, their acts aren’t all bad: The various employees featured in the ACORN scandal tapes have taught us MANY life lessons. Look below at the “Top 10 Life Lessons You Can Learn from ACORN!”
(In no particular order)
You can find common ground with anything. Imagine this scenario: You’re a prostitute. You’re ashamed of your work and you think others may judge you. THINK AGAIN. Video 4 shows us that the lady who is paid with your tax dollars very well may have been a prostitute a few short years ago. You never know unless you ask.
Take pride in all that you do. Even if it’s prostitution. Video 1 shows us that girls should never be embarrassed by what they do with themselves, as long as they are happy and doing well. Forget that it’s illegal and trashy, to say the least.
Performing Arts is a very brooooaaaaad career field. Video 1 strikes again. They always say about taking a test, “When in doubt, pick C”. Well, ACORN says when in doubt about which career cluster to choose for your “unique” line of work, choose “performing arts”. There’s a reason why prostitution isn’t listed on the code sheet, imbecile.
Become a yardbird. When buying a home, be sure to choose a home that has a huge back yard that is covered with lush grass because, according to Video 3, the best way to hide our valuables is to bury them. This tip does not apply to hose living in New Orleans.
Help your neighbors. Even they are prostitutes about to smuggle 13 girls in illegally. Offer them your help in any way possible. If you sell goods or services, go a step higher like the ladies in Video 1 and offer the prostitute a discount for whatever you’re offering to help her get her feet off the ground in her “new office”.
Always be creative. You can’t call prostitution “prostitution” forever, you now. Video 3 shows us that making a list of 3 different names for prostitution can be fun. Homework: How many different ways can you call her a moron?
Don’t stress about the fine details in life. Just lop off a zero or two from your income when filing taxes and your good to go! Video 1 shows us there’s no need to pay taxes for $96,000 of income when you could very easily pay taxes for $9,600 of income. It’s not cheating, it’s just smart money-management.
Be proactive. If you think you’ve been wronged, do something about it! Even if your in hot water for doing something far worse. The Maryland office of ACORN reinforces this lesson by the lawsuit they lobbied against Fox News, Hannah Giles, and James O’Keefe, even though they currently don’t have a license to operate in Maryland. ACORN’s offense of operating without a license is far more punishable by law, but because they got to the punch first they get a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.
Only speak when spoken to. Don’t offer up the illegal aspects of your life unless your asked, and in that situation it’s no big deal to speak in code. Video 1 shows us that the shadier details of your life should be kept under wraps. The government is everywhere, which is why your story should not be. I wonder if there’s any way to hid your sketchy details in that box of money in the backyard?
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I guess it would be the acorn in this case. All four ACORN offices involved in the scandal so far have proven us one thing: a family truly can be formed in the office. Just as blue eyes may be passed down from generation-to-generation, the tendency to make corrupt and unlawful decisions with clients is passed from ACORN employee to ACORN employee. Maybe it’s something in the water?
What do you think of these life lessons? If you can think of any further life lessons ACORN has taught us over the past week, leave them as a comment or send them in to firstname.lastname@example.org and they may be featured on the site!
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I just love Human Events. Even though it feels my inbox with what seems like a billion messages every day, articles and lists like the one below make it totally worth it. Below is a list of the top 10 dumbest quotes by democrats about healthcare.
“I don’t want the folks who created the mess to do a lot of talking. I want them just to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess. I don’t mind cleaning up after them, but don’t do a lot of talking.” — President Obama at an August 6 at a rally in Virginia
“They’re carrying swastikas and symbols like that to a town meeting on health care.” — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi in an August 5 interview
“What good is reading the bill if it’s a thousand pages and you don’t have two days and two lawyers to find out what it means after you read the bill?” — Rep. John Conyers (Mich.) at the National Press Club, July 24
“These disruptions are occurring because opponents are afraid not just of differing views — but of the facts themselves. Drowning out opposing views is simply un-American.” — House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (Calif.) and Majority Leader Steny Hoyer (Md.), writing in USA Today, August 10
“The last time I had to confront something like this was when I voted for the civil rights bill and my opponent voted against it. At that time, we had a lot of Ku Klux Klan folks and white supremacists and folks in white sheets and other things running around causing trouble.” — Rep. John Dingell (Mich.), on MSNBC
“What we’re seeing right now is close to Brown Shirt tactics.“ — Rep. Brian Baird, (Wash.) told a local newspaper
“The last time I saw well-dressed people doing this, was when Al Gore asked me to go down to Florida when they were recounting the ballots, and I was confronted with the same type of people.” — Sen. Barbara Boxer (Calif.)
“I hope people will take a jaundiced eye to what is clearly the Astroturf nature of so-called grassroots lobbying … The Astroturf nature of grassroots lobbying, which is largely the term for, you know, this is manufactured anger.” — White House spokesman Robert Gibbs
“Republicans and their allied groups — desperate after losing two consecutive elections and every major policy fight on Capitol Hill — are inciting angry mobs of a small number of rabid right-wing extremists funded by K Street lobbyists to disrupt thoughtful discussions about the future of healthcare in America taking place in congressional districts across the country.” — Democratic National Committee communications director Brad Woodhouse
“These are nothing more than destructive efforts to interrupt a debate that we should have, and are having. They are doing this because they don’t have any better ideas … It’s really simple: They‘re taking their cues from talk-show hosts, Internet rumor-mongerers and insurance rackets.” — Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (Nev.)
“Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.” — Sen. Arlen Specter (Pa.), responding to a town hall participant
Which of the quotes do you think is the dumbest? Leave your comments below or send an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org. Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.
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Unless you spend a lot of time reading the specifications and hard details of internet browsers, you probably don’t know what half of internet browser reviewers are talking about. When I read that Google Chrome uses the latest NVIDIA 8600 Graphics Unit, my head starts to explode a little. And the fact that Mozilla Firefox has 1 GB of RAM and a 1200x Processesing Core means nothing to me. What I would like to read is a user account of the performances by each of the major internet browsers. Well, lucky for you, that’s exactly what this is. So sit down and buckle up because this is my first forray into technological smartness stuff, and it’s sure to get ugly along the way.
Which is the best internet browser; Internet Explorer, Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, or Apple Safari?
Internet Explorer 8.0
You know, the only positive thing I can come up with is that Internet Explorer has great support. Probably the best of all of the browsers I used. However, 99% of people have never and will never use or care about Costumer Service and Support for their internet browser. So this is pretty much useless. I used IE 8 when it first came out, and as with all Internet Explorers, I was unimpressed. Right out of the box it was one of the slower browsers. When you begin to download toolbars, however, it gets really ugly. I was operating an election 2008 toolbar and a StumbleUpon Toolbar on each browser that had support for those applications and Internet Explorer took the add ons the worst. Pair that with the fact that as I type this the only browser that isn’t working of the four I have downloaded is Internet Explorer (It’s telling me I’m offline. Clearly that’s not the case.), and it’s obvious that it’s the weakest of the bunch. For slow loading and start times, not to mention poor stability, I give IE 8 2 of 5 stars.
Mozilla Firefox 3.0
Mozilla definitely pulled out all the stops with their Firefox browser’s third version. The newest version features better privacy features, quicker performance, and, coolest of all, new applications. The best thing to be said about Firefox is it’s vast expanse of applications. Like the iPhone, I can assure you “there’s an app for that”. Whether it be a theme or a weather widget, the mozilla.com has it all. Thankfully, Firefox can handle the extra applications. I’ve installed over 20 applications, and website loading time hasn’t been drastically increased. However, I’ve been experiencing some stability problems with the latest update to Firefox. The browser often crashes and leaves me having to restart and try and remember all of the tabs I have open since it doesn’t save your tabs by default. Definitely an inconvenience, but not a deal breaker. For the vast array of applications, Firefox still gets 3.5 of 5 stars.
When Apple announced the release of the Safari browser to Windows-based computers, I was pumped. I’d heard all my Mac friends talk about how zippy Safari was for years, so of course I needed to be a part. Unfortunately, like most things, Safari must work best in its home environment because I was not all that impressed. Though Safari has the second best start-up time, it’s all a big scam. Once the window starts up the browser stalls for 3 to 4 seconds then loads. Though Safari was the second most stable browser in my tests, the 3 to 4 second delay between page loads is extremely annoying. When you’re running several tabs, that adds many minutes on to your browsing experience. And quite frankly, Safari doesn’t have the extra features to justify the slow performance. For that I give it 2.5 of 5 Stars.
Ahhh Google, you amaze me. As if Google wasn’t cool enough already, they release a killer internet browser that blew the competition out of the water. Once I finally got around to downloading Chrome, I found that it was what I’d always looked for in an internet browser. The window pops up immediately after clicking the icon, and the home page loads quickly after. It amazes how Chrome manages to open and load so much faster than the other browsers when they are all operating on the same wireless network. Each time I click a link or load a page, I’m amazed by the speed of Chrome. I’m so amazed, in fact, that nearly every time I get the chance I tell my friends and colleagues to download Chrome. It’s allowed me to be so much productive when on the internet because it doesn’t have the unstableness of Fireforx, the stalling of Safari, or the generally crapiness of Internet Explorer. For being far superior to anything I’ve ever seen, I give a perfect score of 5 out of 5 Stars.
Google Chrome: 5 out of 5
Mozilla Firefox: 3.5 out of 5
Apple Safari: 2.5 out of 5
Internet Explorer 2.5 out of 5
Which of the browsers do you use most often? Leave your own experiences with internet browsers below or send an e-mail to email@example.com. Don’t forget to bookmark The Conservative Journal and sign up for the RSS Feed and the daily e-mail newsletter.
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